.'s

i got the blues man. I really hate this time of the month. my body feels lazy and my vagina feels like someone kicked it. I wish there was some switch out there to control the natural womanly flow (besides menapause and pregnancy). You would think that one would be used to it by now. But im not. See its not a big deal when it comes on time cause i know its coming, however when it decides to show up early to 86 my plans then i become down right frustrated. Anywho enough about that for now cause the medicine i took is finally kicking in and im starting to drift into better spirits. I was so hyped that John Legend's cd was coming out that i overlooked the fact that his record label pushed it back. That really fucked up my day man. I was so looking forward to relaxing to that joint too. I was so adamant about getting a copy of it that i still found myself in the store searching the shelves for it as if Sony shipped out 1 just for me. Talk about a music junky.

However my day was back on track after my pre-order copy of Eric Roberson's "Esoteric" arrived today in the mail. I luv this dude and how he brings so much soul to his game. Not to mention he's a really nice guy, i had the opportunity to talk to him through email a couple of times. So hopefully tonight i can i have my own private jam session. Basically that means lighting all my favorite candles, cutting off all the lights, popping his cd into my stereo and climbing under my down comforter as I allow his melodies to ease my mind. This is basically a ritual for all my new R&B/Soul cd's. Not to mention a great way for me to release the tension of my day.

In other news, my friends invited me to go clubbing with them in DC. Sadly i had to decline. Exhibit A: Ty thinks she is too old to club. I really dont think i have it in me anymore to go to club. Well wait, i wouldnt say that but more like i think im too mature for those shakethatasssweatyourhairout clubs. Im more into grown folks clubs, where everybody chillin in a lounge listening to good music and socializing. Im not for that young boy/girl FIGHTIN' shit. See when u got to the club up here, you have to damn sure be ready for it to get turned out. Meaning at any point in time while your doing your thing thing to your favorite songs, a fight breaks out. I dont need that drama in my life lol. Not to mention i hate going to clubs where they are smoking weed and everything else. That shit be all in my clothes and in my hair umph.

I never been to the club in DC though, but who knows i might change my mind by saturday. I also suppose to be going with my mom and step dad down to my brothers college football game. We shall see what pans out cause a sista be tired especially on my weekends off. Dont get me wrong i luv the dolla dolla bill yall but i be hella tired. I decided to take some time off next week. I havent had a day off since i went to Atlanta for 5 days back in August. I like to stack up my time but i need to stop being so stubborn and use them shits. Wells thats all i got to say lol. Law and Order is coming on and yall know i dont be playing with my show either. Adios. Ty.

looking in the mirror...

today i got into with a client. I didnt mean to be rude but some people simply need to be called on their bullshit. My client has intermittent explosive disorder. For those who dont know what that is, it means that he can become angry quickly over little things. Its not that i dont believe that one can have this disorder, because i really do. However if a individual is told that something is wrong with them so many times, then in my opinion they in turn use that as an excuse. I got angry with him because of this. Instead of showing my frustration, I tried to reason with him on how irrational he was being. See John (alias for confidentiality reasons) thinks that the world owes his ass something. He told me a story about a incident that happened last week. Someone told him they were going to do something and they didnt get around to it. I understood his sense of urgency and i offered to call this person to get the ball rolling. However, instead of handling the situation rationally and understanding where the other person was coming from, John basically showed his ass and the person cussed him out as he puts it. Another observation I have made while working with John over these past few months is that he likes to exaggerate (or flat out lie) about things. I'll mention something he told me and he was like "oh yeah i was just hyping it up". So therefore, i do not know if this person cussed him out or not because he could simply be using it as a excuse to insight his rudeness.

My speech to John whether he wanted to hear it or not, was that you cant go out in the world and think people owe u shit (minus the cussing). Just like shit happens to you, it happens to all of us. However he think he is the only one who faces trials and tribulations. We have a choice to either control that shit and go about our day or isolate ourselves into we come out of that state of mind. See John wants to take his bad days and put that shit on everybody else. He told me that if people come up to him to say "hi" he is like "what fuck do u want... is that it, now leave me the fuck alone". What kinda shit is that. If you dont want to be bothered then stay the fuck inside your house or in your room.

Needless to say, John didnt want to hear what i was saying and had the balls to say to me "is that all....are u done now". I had to check him, i wasnt being rude to him so dont be rude to me (case in point). He got pissed didnt say shit and then when i asked him was he understanding what i was getting at. He got up and walked the fuck out and call me a "mutherfucka". I dont give a shit though, because im here to help him and if i cant be honest with him then i cant do him any good. Who knows if i will see him again after today. He has a tendency to get mad with his workers and hold grudges. That incident this morning didnt fuck up my day but it showed me that some people are content in their ways and avoid facing the truth. Take responsiblity for the shit you do.

If you havent figured it out, im an rebel by blood. Furthermore, i tend to let my strong beliefs for things overshadow my feelings and actions. Thats something i need to really work on. I need to simply chose my battles, instead of challenging everything. I cant help, im opinionated. I know thats not an excuse but thats who i am. I am the type to butt into situations if i think someone is being bullied, treated unfairly, or missing the point. Not that i like to be in everybodies business, its just that i dont like people to a) be taken advantage of and or b) think their shit dont stink. I have a knack for challenging people to open their eyes. I thinking after the incident went down that he could have very well whipped my ass lol because he was that angry. However, i hope that what i had to say to him got through despite his frustrations. One love. Ty.

****PS John Legend's cd is dropping tomorrow and im on it. Its at Best Buy and Circuit City for $7.99 so yall need to copp that because of this brotha is really talented. YESSSS! He is going to be performing at my alma mater on 11/14. Okay im definetly going to that show and who aint going to use their student ID even though i graduated already *dead i told yall im on a budget its not a game.... HOOLLLLLAAA!

Tales of Brokeness...

As I look through these stacks of bills, im feeling overwhelmed. Its funny because i never thought that i could (or would for that matter) ever be this damn broke. Its really depressing to look at your bank account between pay weeks and see that you have measily 20 dollars in it. Six months ago, my bank account was flowing the Mississippi River. Six months later, that shit is dried up like the Nevada desert in mid August. At least through my recent money woes i can testify that im not in debt. Basically that in itself is something to proud of because i know too many heads who have fucked up credit. See in my eyes there's two kinds of broke. The first kind is classified as the muthafucka who never pays shit. See their attitude in life is, "Im not paying that shit". Yet in the same breathe you peep em rocking crazy dope shit but you know they aint paying nobody. I best describe these heads as the "driving a lexus but living in the projects" types.

Then you have my type. The person who takes pride in paying off bills but will scrimp by any means neccessary to get that monkey off ya back. My philosophy is if you dont have it then why sign up for it (or why charge it). I use to work as a bill collector back in undergrad and i can honestly say the lessions i learn in those 2 years were very valuable. See thats how these banks get you, your a 18 year old kid who they are sending credit cards out the ass. For kids who dont know better they sign up for them and think its automatic shopping spree. 4 years later one has a shit load of debt sitting on a mountain top of student loans. Its really ridiculous how these banks almost set you up to be in debt before your even old enough to understand it. So needless to say i learned that game early.

Times are hard for me because im trying to pay off all my bills so i can stack chips to move. That game plan is killing me because it seems like i cant win. The good thing is that i paid off my car two years early this month, but times are still seeming to be hard. A couple weeks ago i sat down to figure out where the fuck all my mula was going. I calculated that i have paid out of my own pocket (no finanical aid or nothing) over $6,000 dollars for school (that includes books). Then my co-workers wonder why im not interested in buying a townhouse. DUH i cant afford to, im struggling enough as it is. I thought about going that route but frankly my pocket book aint ready for it. Once i finish school my chips wont be depreciating as fast as they are accumulating. Hopefully by then i'll be in a position to make those kinda moves. But until then im paying off all my bills so that i can eventually make move.

Hopefully things will look up by the end of next month. Im used to having money to buy the things i want and need whenever i want to. I still buy those things but just not as frequently and in moderation. I will admit though, i think i have a phobia of being poor. Maybe it comes from watching my mom struggle to raise my brother and i as little kids. Through all that, my mom always gave us the things we asked for. I dont know how she did it but she made it happened. Dont get me wrong we had rough times, but they were paired with lots of good. I guess every since then, ive always been conscious of calculating my dough as if its my last. I fear living check to check and having bill collectors calling to harrass me for chump change (cause i know i used to do it). Im fortunate that i have never had to go through shit because who wants to pretend they not at home or not themselves when answering your own gotdamn phone. The purpose of this post is not to come off like a spoiled rich kid because im not. Im spoiled but not rich lol so let me clear that up quickly. Its just that i believe in paying people what i owe. If i borrow something i plan on compensating them for it. I dont like the idea of having to dip and dodge mofos because you owe them some change-yay. To each their own, but i perosnally dont want to ever live like that. Well thats it. ONe. Ty.

Still Amazed At Some People's Stupidity

On Tuesday October 19th, i think i experienced one of the worst days in my life. My day didnt start off this way but slowly started to weigh down my shoulders as the day progressed. After seeing a client early that afternoon, she admitted during the conversation that "he forced himself" on her. Im very sensitive and hold a strong opinion regarding this subject. I asked her what happened. She told me. I asked her if she wanted to report it. She concluded, "no". I offered the whole .. this could happen to someone else..... point of view, which it in all actuality could. But to my disgress, i respected her decision.

After returning to the office. I told my co-workers what i had been told. Not only to ease my own mind but my client had also confided that this had happened to two other individuals in her building. One of which i know personally because she too is a client of our program. Besides that fact, i felt it was a neccessity to discuss allegations with my co-workers. Needless to say, what i had to say sparked a heavy debate. Needless to say, i walked away from the conversation because i became quickly enraged that some people are sooo fucking stupid.

During the conversation with my 4 co-workers, 3 of which are women and 1 a male. Two of them (1 male and 1 female) took the stance that "if a person sleeps around, or wears too tight clothing then she cant get raped". The point they held was not exactly in verbatim but along those lines. My other co-worker and I were like just because someone sleeps around or wears revealing clothing does not give anybody the right to touch or fuck you without your permission. Not to mention, these same two co-workers view that adults can not get raped because they have the power to tell. As my head throbbed, i could not believe what the fuck i was hearing. Does anybody read statistics pretaining to this matter? Do people not know that most victims of rape do not report the incident. Not that the incident did not happened to them but also one takes into account the embarrassment or dealing with people (like my co-workers) who adamantely accuss them of lying (as if they were the ones who did something wrong). Thats why women dont come forward! I understand you have your occasional gold digger who is crying rape to get a piece of change from some superstar athlete or entertainer but that in itself is a very small percentage of the numbers.

Then to top off their stupidity after i explained to them THE REAL FACTS, my co-workers allude that the process will be anonymous for those who do report it (so why not report it?). [shakes my head]as if i just didnt explain that to them. It can never be an anonymous process because the perpetrator will always have the right to know who made the allegations against them. I never have seen anybody prosecuted for a crime in which they did not know who their alleged victim was. Furthermore it sucks that when prosecuting a rape case, a woman's whole sexual history is introduced into the court room (as if to paint this nasty picture of her). The fact remains that sluts, freaks, bitches, hoes, good girls and everything far and in between can be raped. Its not about sex, its about making someone do something that you do not want to.

It kills me when people try to debate or add their two cents to shit when they are misinformed about whats really going on in the world. What fucks me up even more is that these people work in a social service agency just like I do. Imagine if a client of their's confided in them about something like this. I wonder what would they say to them, "oh its not rape, you asked for it because you had on this on or you slept around". If there is one thing in life that i can not tolerate by any means, is stupid people. Moral of this story is to educate yourself on the issues of our society. Just because you believe something is a certain way does not mean it is really so. One. Ty.

UPDATE:
Damn its been a while since i logged on to this. Blogger is moving up in the world, they even have comments now. I remember when they didnt have that shit and people had to use the freebies around the web. Well im no longer apart of the retrosoul fam. At some point in time i decided to put this blogging thing on hold. It became time consuming and i basically wasnt inspired anymore. Not to mention, life changes. I started grad school and was a couple of months into a new job. So all in all the best decision for me was to hand in my bloggin punch card hince was the only reason why i decided to leave retrosoul. That was back in september of 03', i think but dont quote me on that. Anyhoo after not blogging for about 2-3 months, i decided to come back to the game. Now i own my own site entitled "Brown Suga Dreams" over here. That is where i occupy most of my time. I still dont blog as much as i like to, but the pace is starting to pick up. Okay im out. If you want to read more about me and my life, hit me up over at Brown Suga. One.

Moving on up...

Okay im officially moving to another site...ive known for a week now...opportunity has knock and presented itself so i gotta do what i gotta do...here's the unveiling...im now at SoulSagittarian@RetroSoul...you can holla at me over there....one luv...soulsaG

Guess who's bizzzack...

I am so overjoyed that the new season for Soul Food has finally started...and guess what???...last night they came back with a bangin episode...for those who are soul food junkies like myself, how about that opening sex scene...can you say, ohhh booyyyy...man that was str8 juicy...but how crazy is Bird's stalker...that dude has some serious damn issues...or what about Damon's denial of his drinking problem...my baby needs to get it together (damn he Fine with a capital "F")....overall it was a dynamite show...the season preview indicates that soul food will be off the chain and action packed...oh yeah im going to be watching everyweek...

does anyone watch Wanda at Large...its comes on fox after bernie mac..i like the show, I think its hilarious...Wanda says some off the wall stuff..ive been a fan of hers every since she was in Chris Rocks last movie (forget the name, but i also seen her do her thing on HBO's Inside the NFL)...ohh and one more thing...

im starting to get really pissed off with American Idol...the show seems to be on its way back to voting off people who dont deserve to leave...man i cant for the life of me understand why Kimberly Locke (the voluptious black chick) is always in the bottom 3 every week...her performances are always on point, even the judges think so...but somehow America cant get it together...in my opinion, her and Ruban are the most consistant...everybody else is okay but i just think that those two deserve to win...just look at last night...

they voted off the cheery black dude...whose performances were getting better each week (to me his last 2 or 3 were solid)...but the other kimberly (the chick he was standing with) got by even though she sucked...same with Carmen, whose performance of Blondie was horrible....and guess what she didnt even make it into the bottom 3...what the hell is up with that...well thats all for my blockbuster Wednesday's...one luv sOuLSag

Im starting to hate my job and my co-workers suck...

If it's one thing i hate in the world....its lazy ass co-workers...these two babes at work are seriously plucking my last damn nerve...see at my paying job i work at a after school center...basically our responsibility is to watch kids from 3pm to 6pm (when their damn parents are suppose to pick em up, but i'll talk about that later)...i dont have a problem with watching the kids because thats my job and i get paid for it...but i be damn if im going to be working while my two co-workers are sitting on their lazy asses philosophizing for 3 hours about their boyfriends and their fucked up relationships....hello people we are suppose to be working...maybe my work ethic is different...i know that we all are college students but maybe i am more mature than them...but still thats no damn excuse...that's the real world, if you want to maintain a job, you have to work hard for it....now i could be reasonable if this was a once in a while thang...but hell nah they do this everyday, its their ritual....let me further explain the situation so you can see what im talking about....okay there are 4 of us working and there is 4 rooms full of kids....now the logical thing to do would be split up and each take a room...but nooo these two dummies rather sit in the same room and chit chat, which often leaves me having to cover 2 rooms full of hyper ass midgets...another thing that urks me about those two is...that they are always late to work (especially one) and never wants to walk over to pick up the damn kid's from school...but when its warm...they dont mind walking...but when its freezin like a mutherfucka their asses purposely show up late so they dont have to walk...like i wasnt going to notice that shit...

now last week our school was on spring break...one half of the chatty duo went on vacation to a Dominican Republic resort...so the other stuck to my ass like glow...telling me all about her lastest sobb stories/drama with her boyfriend...how they are going to move into separate apts because they need to have space...like hello..."yall been together for a year and yall been living together for a year...thats what's wrong wit your relationship...yall went from mommy and daddies house...to living together".....i be tellin her that shit too, im her psychologist, should start chargin her stinkin ass but thats another thought...so yeah she be going thru it..but she would rather talk about it during work, instead of actually doing some damn work...well her butt-buddy came back on monday...and guess where they were...sitting on the stinkin couch,catching up...its like they stuck together...if one person is one room, the other will eventually find their way there and hang out....meantime we have unsupervised kids running around like heathens...im gettin tired of that shit real quick... ooohhh let me give yall another good example...one day both of em were sitting in the kindergarten room putting on a video for my babies (thats the kindergarteners, im so attached to them since ive been around them since sept)...so i let time pass for a min...and i think that day it was only us 3 working...so eventually im pissed and i stormed back there like could one of yall come watch this other class...i was so pissed cause i shouldnt have to do that shit...i mean did they think it honestly takes 2 people to watch 12 kindergarteners while im watchin 35 other screamin kids...ohhh hell nooooo....

now on to my other gripe about work...the damn parents...im so so so so so so so so to the fuckin 100th power sick of them fuckers coming late to pick up their own damn kids...hello these your brats not mine dont ya want to come get em...now my damn work day ends at 6:01...not 6:05 or 6:15 or 6:35....i understand you may be in traffic but damn i have a fucking life...i work too, in fact im working from 8am (internship) till the time they pick up their brats...my ass is up at 6:45 in the damn morning...i need to go home and relax too, shit i need a break...and you know what really urks me....when they do come to pick up their kids...they dont even say thank you...what the fuck is up wit that, i be about really to cause a scene...its not like im gettin compensating for their tardiness, hell im only getting my bass rate divided by whatever time they came...im getting tired of this work shit...its all starting to push me away and making me search for a real job even more...

damn yall this is a long ass post...but hey i got to vent..ive been holding all this shit in for a min...one luv soulSag

Destiny....

Ever wonder about what you'll be doing 5 years down the line...what stage of life you'll be in...well i often wonder about my destiny...i wish i could peer into the future to see what choices i made and what im doing...this grown up shit sucks...i want to be 5 again with no worries...just playing in dirt with a smile on my face...but NOOOOO....im here entering the world of adulthood...its weird as shit...but so funny to see myself growing up...

right now im wrapping up college...searching for a job...and waiting for acceptance into grad school...so far its moving kinda slow...no sure things have came up as of yet...but im scared...scared of whats out there...whats in my future...the fact of not knowing if i'll have a secure life...I NEED TO KNOW...I want to know...i hate waiting....i get anxy...aggitated...grouchy...bitchy...i hate to be put on hold...but i guess thats apart of growing up...man i wish i could see myself at 27...I often wonder if i'll be married....have kid(s)...or be doing what i love to do...how ironic is it that im listenin to that rachelle ferrell song again...i cant seem to find the download...but here it is playing on the radio again...what she is singin about is so true..."how can we heal over the world if we cant heal at home"..."how can we have peace in the middle east if we have none at home"...----"Peace on Earth"

I try not to talk about the war and get political on people but she is right...she is saying exactly the way i feel...I hate when our country spends more money on wars...then on feeding starving kids in our own country...so many people here in AMERICA live on dirt roads with no running water...they dont even have enough money to buy pencils for their kids to go to school...but yet were fighting a war...spending millions/billions of dollars...and look at our education system...how many schools lack adequate books or funding to ensure their students quality educations...these are the problems i have with our country...the problems i have with our societal values...as a person in the education, i have many gripes about our educational system...well that all im going to say for now...i dont want to turn into a little MALCOM X (aka Soul X lol)...well goodnight one luv...SOulSag...

2 new pairs of shoes + Floetry and Kindred.... later....

well im finally back from shoppin...im sitting here thoroughly enjoying my purchases....i just got finish walking the cat walk...hince i have this habit of coming home after buying stuff and modeling it around my house like im walking the runway in Paris or Milan...i cant help it ive been doing it since i was a kid...(sometimes i get bored and just try on clothes *smile)...but thats all i wanted to add...well check ya later...

P>S.... I did look for miss ferrells cd but i couldnt find it...im going to check out some other stores but in the mean time im going to download it...

Can we be friendz...part 2

right now im drained...i just got through with my 5th grade friendship group...and im exhausted...its not all from them...but just meeting with kids all day has tired me out...i still have other things i need to accomplish today....like met with 2 more kids before the dayz over...****this just in....i will be taking myself to curcuit city to officially cop Kindred Family Soul's new joint...since i just got word about rachael ferrell's new joint (thanks Antonio)...i will be searching the racks for that also....okay end of broadcast....now back to our regular schedule program....*****.....i also need to go shoppin after work for some new shoes lol...for me being drained, im really chosing to do further exhausting things huh...but i need some new shoes man!!!!....i must make my rounds today...ive been slacking lately and havent really had the time to hit the stores....hopefully i will get my second wind by 4:30....cause at 4:31 "Its all about me"...i will post later in detail about my group experience...but right now i got things to do...one luv soulSag

Can we be friendz.....part 1

today was my first day running my friendship group...ahhh what a feelin....i met with the 2nd graders today....they were cool...we talked for 30 mins....they seem excited about coming back...in fact one girl asked when they were coming back...she seemed disappointed like the rest when i explain that its only once a week...i wish i could do more...but its just not possible with my schedule and their's....but today went well...we covered things like "what does friendship mean to you", "how can you be a good friend", and "what does bad friendships look like"....its funny to hear their responses....one lil girl was like good friends buy you presents...that was funny...however on thursday i have the 5th graders....im really looking forward to this group...for one i have a hard bunch of gurls (some with behavior problems and fucked up home lives)...so its going to be challenging...but basically i want to act as a mentor for them....its going to be hard to gain their trust....but once i do it should be okay from there....i plan to cover a wide array of topics with both groups like "when to let go of friendships", "shying away from gossip or he/said she said", and much more...hopefully they'll hear my messages and understand them...cause shit dont change when you grow up...i still had to let go of friends that i felt werent about what i was about at the time...or just dead weight....thats a thing i think that the 5th graders really need to understand...its not about rollin wit a cliq...cause at the end of the day, how do you know who really is loyal and who just there to use you up...thats shit i had to learn growing up...its a hard pill to swallow...knowing that everybody isnt out for you best interest...or basically understanding that because your friends its okay to say "no i dont wanna do that or be apart of that"....

But pretty much today....i keep my friends down to a handful...as we use to say in high school...."i dont fuck with everybody"...and 5 years later that's still the truth...growing up i always found that i got along more wit boys than girls...i guess thats because i was a lil tom boy...im like the only girl out of my female friends who luvs sports, plays video games and likes building stuff...im just weird like that...its funny cause i like to watch home improvement shows like "trading spaces", "this old house" and "bob villa"...what can i say, im just fascinated with things like that....i guess thats the creative side of me...but anywayz moving on...

Next up American Idol....man Ruban killed it tonight...Simon is right he should win the WHOLE competition...if not the American Public SERIOUSLY JACKED HIM...on to the NBA...Sixers won last night in overtime against the Magic...it was a pretty good game...AI vs T-Mac....both recking shop, point for point....on to the NCAA...i stand corrected i had a type-o the other day...the Villanova Girls B-Ball team mad it to the elite 8...unfortunately they lost last night to the Tennessee Vols...its all good though im still proud of em....well thats all yall...one luv soulSag***thanks for the lending ear oooppsss i mean eyes

Overjoyed....

i solved my problem...i got real player yall (without giving up my credit card #'s)...right now im so musically satisfied and overjoyed...ive been downloading a whole lot of new songs...i also found this server thingy...that has all the music a gurl could ever ask for....so happy *about to scream lol***...nah but i wont...right now im listening to this Rachelle Farrell song playing on the radio...she is killin it....i dont know the name but its asking where's the luv....im going to download that tomorrow...i gotta have it...she is sounding so angelic....im going to be updating my music section like every week (or less depending how i feel)...the one thing i've been searching for is Kindred's "far away" and "rhythm of light"....man i need these so bad...ive been listening to Kindred for about 2 years now...they been on the local scene in philly for a min...im so proud of em...their cd came out last tuesday...im going to get it but i want these downloads...im so happy right now (with all this music for me to listen to its really helping me cope)...

yesterday i was so sad....it was a emotionally draining day for me...i felt like a zombie...my head and emotions werent with me....i felt like i was in another body just going through the motions....the weather was rainy...the sky dark and droomy...finally i broke down...had a good cry....well im better...i think im just exhausted....im doing so much right now (work & school)...so many pressures to deal wit...im the type of person who just deals wit the shit....i wont complain or talk to anybody about my troubles...im the person in the crew who everyone ask for advice or shed their problems on....i guess thats my role...but me on the other hand....im just a person who holds alot in....but i guess yestereday i reached limit....well thats enough about me, i dont feel like going into my psychology....here's my weekend review...sixers won yesterday....villanova's girls are in the sweet 16...still rainy...dark and droomy...well im taking my self to bed...so i wont be yawin tomorrow at work *wink....one luv soul sag....

Tired of being left behind...

i mad as hell right now...ive been trying to download realplayer from realplayer.com...and why do they want your credit card #...i dont see why, the shit is free...i want some new music but i cant find a player for my life that reads ram. or rm. files....it never fails...everytime i download something with that file format...that shit never plays...now im back to square one...ughhh...

today was a good day....im so glad to be finish with the damn state test....for those that dont know...the state of Delaware test their students every year in math, reading, language arts, science and social studies...well since im interning in a elementary school...guess who has to help wit that shit....ME....im a assistant guidance counselor...so for the last month or so ive been so consumed wit that shit...now that its over my boss and i are overjoyed...9 of us went out to dinner last night and lived it up (all on the principal)...man we had fun....but anyways...for the last day or so ive been bizzy creating blueprints for my own counseling groups...so far i chose to run a 2nd and 5th grade friendship group (for girls)...you be suprised how many issues these elementary kids are facing (i'll talk about that in the future)...my groups start next week so im soo sooo sooo excited

....so far the kids like me...it took a min for them to warm up to me but now their letting their guards down and opening up....when they see me in the hall they wave or say hi...its so cool cause I luv kids...im such a kid at heart...man i had a real close call the other morning...see the school is up the street from my house....and some of the kids live in my neighborhood...so one morning this week....i seen some kids that i knew walking up the street...i dashed back in the house and locked the door lol...i didnt want them to see me because then they would know where i lived...and i know that one of the kids is crazy sporatic like that...she be having me dying at school ( a real character)...so when they were gone...i went out to my car...got in and drove up the street...so i guess they seen my car and seen me getting out of it in the parking lot...so later in the hall the one kid (the character) is like...do you have a brother name Shane?...i didnt want to lie to her (to fuck up my cred especially as a counselor)...so i said yes..she was like "i know him...so you live in my neighborhood"...im like "yes but dont try to stop by"...man cause she crazy like that...so i know she would try to ...i wanted to set that problem str8 befor the kid(s) show up at my door on the weekend and be like "can Ms. _____ come out".... or other crossing the line shit like that (them lil smucks wont get me caught up--)... but anywayz thats my close call....with that said.....i'll post later about how my groups turn out (my first sessions are next week Tuesday and Thursday)...time to watch the sixers game.....one luv soulsag...

The verdict is in....

i feel better today...but guess what....i have no freakin voice...every other word that comes out is high pitched...last night i went to bed around 7:30 (actually didnt get to fall asleep until 10:30...my friend was talkin my ear off)....anywayz i went to the doctor and she said i have Laryngitis :(....i wanna know when is this shit going to go away...well thats my health update...signing off Soul Sag...oh yeah one luv....*clappin....screaming sex w/ chocolate....

Why does it come back?

Im sick again...but this time im not stopped up....my throat hurts like hell....my body is getting the chills...just thought i'll share that wit yall...so if you catch me in a foul mood...then its not my fault *snickerin....one luv soulsag...

Say Yes.....

man this song is so tight (its by Floetry but sound like M'chelle N.)...i was browsing around the net making my usual stops and i came up on this song...this is one of them songs that fall into the catergory(sp) of...wantingtograbmutherfuckanriptheredamnclothesoff....so you can ...fuckdashitoutofemncum kinda song.....lol...im so gangsta...and bad sometimes...but yeah its true...im not going to front...this is a bad song...for those who havent heard it...its playin in the background (if its not on... reload the freakin page man)...some other songs that make me get that feeling are.... Janet's "Anytime Any Place" "Rope Burn" and "Can I"...shit Janet's a freak...thats my role model (*wink)....its all good...

Oh yeah, on another sports note....Sixers won today...kinda happy they got back on track cause they started the game off cold...got down early and stormed back...NCAA newz...i cant watch the tourny to safe my life...im not really into college ball (unless local teams like Temple, St. Joe's, Villanova or etc are playing)...so everytime i turn the channel i see these damn games...I LUV B+BALL (i need to go outside and play wit my brother and his friends) but damn college hoops...i wanna watch something like that AND 1 shit they be showing...but anyway other Weekend Newz...basically i havent did shit since yesterday besides work on this page and paper work i have to turn in on Weds....i have one thing left to do...get my clothes out for tomorrow and i'll probably chill on here....(im forgetting something....)....oh yeah i have the National Security Bootleg to watch...that shit has been sitting on the sofa for a couple of hours...wheres my mind been lol....i might get into that around 9ish....but hold up...i need to listen to the "SOUL CAFE" on Power 99Fm...i need some new inspiration....some new tunes to bang out...well thats enough yappin for me....one luv SOULSag

Alive at 5:45....AM

man....im tired as hell....im working my ass these days....im pissed cause it nice outside and i dont feel like doing shit....i just came back from attending a seminar with my boss (at my money paying job)....i had to be there at 7am...which means i had to get up at like 5:45 am....which meant i had to take my self to bed at 9:30pm last night...and guess what i was still yawning...the seminar was okay but it got even better when my boss and i decided to skip the last 2 seminars (only attending 1 out of 3)...what can i say she cool like dat....i needed this exta time....the seminar wasnt scheduled to be over until 4pm....now thats gangsta...since my ass was up in the wee hours of the morning...good thing is that it was held at my school which is only 15 mins aways...so i didnt have to go far to get home (crusing wit the windows down and the freeway/50 cent bumping loud)....now thats gangsta...*wink

but lately i havent had anytime to do much of anything...im working like 33 hours a week at my internship (elementry school asst guidance counselor)...which i absolutely luv ...and working 12-13 hrs at my regular job (doing after school care which brings in a little income to pay my bills)...IM SPENT...when i come home i dont want to talk to no body but my computer or bed (seriously)....this week has been so challenging...this past week all Delaware schools have been doing manditory STATE TESTING...i feel bad for these kids...this test is stressing them out to the 9th degree...the teachers are stressed also because some of their kids will fail...(side note: how can you make ESL kids take a state test on math, reading and writing when they are not fluent in english, that sucks, then you have kids who are in special education who are expected to take a standardize test that is the same for all kids in their grade, WTF, this shit sucks big time)...and guess who's in charge of it....the guidance counselors....so ive been running around like a chicken helping my boss sort through test....administer them...and plain ole being helpful to all of the specialist and teachers...the rough part was the first day...i was so drained mentally/physically...i literally came home and put my self in bed around 7:30 (actually just laid there like a veggie until i doze off)...its all good though but i still luv the job....

i want to be a counselor but im currently still figuring out on which level (elementry or college)....i finally sent off my grad app (late last week)...waiting patiently...i feel confident i will get in...this school has an accelerated program in school and college counseling...i want to be done in a year so i plan to start june or july....i cant take this school stuff anymore trying to finish ASAP....right now im also looking for jobs...so far i went on one interview...man did the job suck big time...plan b: is to apply for a state job...i found one that is pretty cool..hopefully they will get back to me (if not i will use my connects and resourses)...im trying to move out wit my friend next year around this time so i need some loot (give me the loot)....contact me if you want to send me some donations...its comes wit a complementry kiss...lol i need a sugar daddy (rich one, who luvs to write checks or give out cash) sik nah i'll be alright...

All of my friends are teasing me now...why cause i work at a school (which we call a "Real Job")...so therefor i get to play dress up...and look lovely...i thought that this transition would be hard for me (since im a timb/nike rockarkindagurl to the 10th power)...but it wasnt...i mean dont get me wrong i can still sexy out the best of em...i have shoe's, boots, sandals and what not...but i prefer 70% thuggin em out on that chill ghetto fab-boo-lust tip (you should all the clothes and shoes i have, its ridiculous)...but im starting to like rocking thin heel boots, dress shirts and slacks every day...its growing on me i guess...i havent purchased anything like a sneak, timb, or jean in a minute...im fiendin though...i get the shakes "i must buy new shit"...sik nah...well back to the joke...my girl always say's "your a grown up now"...which she is right....so i get all big head on her...when she calls and starts buggin i be like "HEY YOUR TALKING TO AN ADULT NOW, RECOGNIZE"...she either pays me no mind or tells me to shut the hell up....its unbelievable though...im finally an adult or acting like one...its feels weird too despite my 22 years on this planet...lol well this is a long as post for me...guess i had a lot of shit to say...well im going to go do the whoop to the latest videos on MTV and BET...right now im bumping donnie/india arie, i need to shake my ass....i guess im just cool like that....im serious im going to dance in front of the TV...do some crazy dances wit my brother (who at 6'2 looks funny dancing)...one luv SoulSag....

PS im not going to talk about the sixers...being that i feel like chokin someone (because of those 2 loses)

Memory Lane....Reflection...

Yo the strangest thing happened....recently (yesterday and today)...i have recieved 2 calls from people i used to go to high school wit...call one came from my girl...i havent talk to her in a while...she graduated last year (the year i was suppose to)...now she is in grad school at the same school im applying to....well you know how i be...we talked about all the shit we used to do in hs....laugh about how stupid people are...who's doing who, what people are up to and who had what (babies)...thats my dog...we be buggin...we been cool for a minute (since 9 grade) but we fell out of touch do to life, working, and school....she supposed to call back tonight so we can finish gossiping *smile....

Call two came from my guy bestfriend (i have 2, a girl and a boy)...i havent talk to my boy in soo soo soo sooo long....we have actually been friends for a long ass time...we knew each other since summer camp (10) years old man)...plus we share mutual friends from growin up in Chester....he is mad bizzy and splits time between D-ware (dad) and Chester (mom)....well again you know how i be...we gave 411's on each's recent lives....gossiped about what everbody else is doing....and i made sure i invited him to my party in May....thats my boy...my bestfriend....he too is suppose to call me back so we can chit chat some more....he also passed off a number of one our friends who i have known since first grade....im goin to call her soon and catch up...because its been a long ass time since we talked (like 5-8 years)...

well basically i wanted to share my happiness....it feels good to hear from old peeps who have been doing their own thing....i hope we have our class renunion this year...it would be nice to have everybody all in one spot again....just like old times....i miss high school...those were the good ole days....our class was str8 gangsta....we all didnt get along but end the end we represented the 9 and the 8......man its been 5 years...i still cant believe that .....it seems like yesterday.....so many memories....well one luv soulsag....

Theyre back....

the Sixers are balling out of control...im so happy to see them finally back doing the damn thing...earlier today...they beat the New Jersey Nets 92-87 in New Jeruz....this was a very good game....the sixers found themselves down in the first half by 11...but stormed back to get the "W" in NJ (via AI's 23 pts in the 2nd half and E.Snow's 21 pts in the game)....The sixers also stepped up that philly "D" to limit NJ to make critical turnovers....for those non-b-ball followers...this means that the sixer are a half a game behind the NETS in the Atlantic Division (if they shall tie the sixers hold the series at 3-1)...well what else did I do this weekend...

Well i watched "Monsters Ball"...slept lol...and work on some paper work for my internship....i also luck on this hot group called "LiL Brother"...im feeling there grooves...actually addicted cause ive downloaded like 7 songs...lol ive also been working on some this page (hince the new view)....well thats all...so boring huh...lol so long...im out...one luv SOulSaG

Rise and Shine....(is it time to make the donuts???)

As you can see im up....wide awake at 3:03 in the morning...i went to bed like 10pm...and i must have reach my maximum sleep level...cause a sista isnt tired...im up ironing...reading...bloggin...and just plain ole walking around finding shit to do....i just thought i share that wit ya...oh yeah one more thing (ive reach another level yesterday)...i can be a total bitch sometimes.....man i can....i dont know why though...im just moody...sometimes i feel like bitching sometimes i dont lol..thats sad huh...might be even crazy....but hey thats me and good things come to those who wait...i can be difficult to be around....especially when i reach my maximum annoyed level...basically this leads to be being grumpy, rude, ignorant......and very very nonchalent....i think somethings wrong wit me...i like being mean....i really luv it....it makes me smile on the inside...lmao....nah but really...im a moody ass person...str8 up evil when i dont want to be bothered....everybody gets this special luv from...shit i dont discriminate...i give to my mom, my brother and my friends....i answer the phone like "WHAT DO YOU WANT"....lol....they just learn to ignore my ass i guess despite my efforts to keep our conversation and contact....SHORT AND SWEET....well im going to bizzy myself wit something else...gotta go....ive already shaired too much info with you bastards....(being mean again lol)....but hey i got go....ya boring me....one luv soulSAG...

Also for those who are interested in Jung Typology...im a INTJ...look it up and you will know how i am...but i'll talk about what this means in the future

Back in Da Day....When I was young...Im not a kid anymore...but somedays i really wish...I were a kid again....

I tell you I’m on a roll wit these list….I thought I’ll do this one about something near and dear to my heart…Hip Hop….I’m going to steal (borrow) a line from Brown Sugar….when did you first fall in love with hip hop?…..For me I fell in luv with it between 87’ and 89’ (might be before that)…I got turned on to it by my older cousins…..they use to watch YO’ MTV RAPS everyday faithfully…They would always tape the shows and rehearse the moves from the videos….from my older cousins I learned the hip hop culture…i.e. the latest dance moves….fashion trends….street bangers…Its been 13 years since hip hop had embraced me…looking back there were so many fads…so many artist…so many hot dance moves…that have come and gone…but im still here listening strong…supporting hip hop…but you know I could not leave and not post the 25+ songs that have made hip hop not just music... but a way of life for me (my lifestyle)….one luv SoulSag


25+ Songs that made me luv hip hop....
1. Big Daddy Cane “Smooth Operator” and “Aint no half steppin”
2. 3rd Base “Gas Face”
3. Slick Rick “la di dot di”
4. Queen Latifah “ladies first” Mc Lyte “lyte as a rock” and SaltnPeppa “Its your thing”
5. Keith Murray “most beautifullest thing”
6. Eric B and Rakim “Paid In Full” and, “I ain’t no joke”,
7. Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince “Parents Just don’t Understand”
8. Tribe Called Quest featuring Busta Rhymes “Scenario”
9. De La Soul “My Buddy” and “Saturday”
10. Jay-z “Ain’t no nigga” “Feeling it” “Can’t Knock the Hustle” and
Nas “it aint hard to tell” “Nas is like” and “the world is yours”
11. Chubb Rock “Treat em right”
12. Dr Dre and Snoop “Deep Cover”
13. Snoop “Ain’t Nothing but a G Thang”
14. Das Efx “The Want the Efx”
15. Black Moon “short shot “ “got ya open” and “who got the props”
16. Kid n Play “aint going hurt nobody”
17. Pete Rock and CL Smooth “T.R.O.Y “
18. Brand Nubian “slow down”, “punks step up and get beat down”, “love me or leave me alone” and
Don’t let it go to your head” and Grand Puba---“360 degree’s”
19. Nice and Smooth “Nice & Smooth” “Sometimes I rhyme slow” and “hip hop junkies”
20. Tupac “I get around”
21. Biggie “Juicy” and Mobb Deep “Shook One’s”
22. Ice Cube “Today was a Good Day”
23. Black Sheep “Pick It Up” and “The choice is yours”
24. Kool G Rap “ill street bluez”
25. Poor Righteous Teachers “each one teach one”

*Some of the names may be wrong because i cant remember them all....but pretty much their accurate (i think)...also this list IS NOT in any SPECIFIC ORDER...hope you enjoy....one luv SS

2003...cont'd

Now its time to share of my booty shaking music...there's some good tracks out right...and i every time i hear em...it never falls my booty just starts shaking...i just cant help myself...I LUV TO DANCE...been dancing since i was a lil tott...but here's my list

Top 5 Booty Shaking Songs that make me "dont stop..get it.. get it"
1."Beautiful" by Snoop and Pharrel...man this is my jam i have listened to it so far today (11:30 am)...about 6 times lmao...this is my joint...i luv the beat...the rhymes...the hook...hell i luv all of it...bout to push replay lol...

2. "Like Glue" by Sean Paul...my when i heard this cutt...its like the classic reggae dancehall track....so blazin...automatically makes me bump, grind, wine, rotate and dipp lmao...this joint is serious...they play it at the end of the "get bizzy" video...
3. "Get Bizzy" by Sean Paul...i luv this video...i be doing the moves lol...sean paul is making good body rocking music right now ....and i aint mad at him

4. "No Letting Go" by Wayne Wonder...this song has been out for a while on the club and dance scene...still a great song...WW is definitely on the come up...
5. Tied----"Jump--off" by LiL Kim + "Excuse Me" by Jay-Z + "Crush on You" by Mr. Cheeks featuring Mario Winans


In fact Mr. Cheeks song is my joint....that hold my boo kinda song...in fact im about to dedicate it...to that special someone...i miss you...i got crush on you lol...holla at me asap....one luv soulsag...

2003...

So far this year has been good… I know that we are only in month 3…but hey I’m getting off to a great start…plus im feeling a lot of things that are going on right now…here’s some of the items that are on my hot list…str8 ghetto fab-boo-lust

Top 10 things that are funky fresh….
1. The Internet--- hey where would i be wit out it....
2. “Philadelphia Freeway”---

with joints like "Free"...."All My Life" (featuring Nate Dogg)...and my joint "Alright" featuring Allen Anthony....this joint is constantly in heavy rotation...
3. Fur lined jackets on men…so sexy... yeah baby...

4. Motorola flip phones---are the shit

5. Throw Back Sneaks---gotta step out...

6. Flyy Ass Shoe Boots....peep these joints...

7. Fresh Pairs of Timbs
….
8. Fashionable Accessories

9. Throw Back and Authentic Jersey’s plus Sweats/Valours

10. Hearing those 3 words…..I LUV YOU...i think :P

there is some hot shit on this list....one luv soulsag....

Beautiful...

If you ever heard Tweet's song "Beautiful" from her Southern HummingBird Album...then you should know this is how im feeling...but if not the lyrics are below....so get you read on...on luv soul sag

Beautiful (Original)

My eyes have never seen
Someone so beautiful
So much charm
So much class
Your the first thought of each day
So appealing you are
You move through me
Such a natural feeling
And oh, please don't take it away

I can get caught up
When I see you
You're so beautiful

I can get caught up
When I see you
You're so beautiful

I have received a love that's all demand
So innocent and so pure
You make each moment stand still
You took care of my heart ever so gently
I can never repay you, no
Your desires I'm here to fulfill

I can get caught up
When I see you
You're so beautiful

I can get caught up
When I see you
You're so beautiful

You
You are
You
You're more than a dream come true

Self love self preservation, Self love self preservation/ Self love self preservation, Self love self preservation/ Self love self preservation, Self love self preservation/ He’s looking at Self love self preservation/ Self love self preservation, Self love self preservation


After watching Brown Sugar today…I found the inspiration to listen to one of my old cd’s….so I popped in Jaguar Wright’s debut album "Denials Delusions And Decisions"….she is a phenomenal singer….too bad her record label didn’t do all they could to promote her album….str8 gangsta…but anyways I wanted to listen to the song that they played at the end of the movie….# 11 on the album entitled "Self Love"…basically the song put me in a trance…good shit…listening to Jaquar preach about inner peace…making your own decisions…luving yourself…despite your situation…man she is going hard on this song…she’s right…get up off your ass get out and do something….sooooo many people don’t luv themselves….but how can you luv someone else if you cant luv you…I can say I luv myself…im totally into me…luving me unconditionally…now i'm going to talk about these women out here who don’t luv themselves….

You know the ones who let men run all over em….sit at home crying cause they have 2 kids by this nicca and no commitment….no ring…and nothing to show for it… women have a tendancy to put men before themselves…usually about HIM instead of about YOU…if your man is cheating on you…and not treating you how you want to be treated leave HIS ass….do bad by your self….now for the brothas….if your girl is a SKANK and you complain about getting nothing but SKANKS….then maybe you should stop chasing THE PUSSY…of course you going to find nothing but chicken headz, gold diggers, and skeezers(sp)…but what can you expect…chasing a phat ass and big titties doesn’t give you the information you need to find a good girl…so don’t complain when your relationships don’t amount to shit…I say “cant turn a hoe into a house wife”…and its the truth…for both males and females…basically the key is to respect and love yourself…not to settle…not to cheat yourself of what you think you should be getting….fuck the cycle…break out of that shit…do you…its about choices…make good ones….

If you don’t like your job, why don’t you just quit stop being a bitch love yourself/ If you believe things kind work out easily,/ I’m telling you if you don’t like what your mother’s telling you/ Then be a grown man and stand up on your own two and love yourself/ If your girlfriend’s is on welfare, then baby walk away/ You don’t have to care and love yourself/ And if standing on the corner and pushing rocks up in your sock/ Ain’t what you want to do to night then love yourself

As you can see...

ive been updating and adding changes to my page to make it better (perfectionist in me)...ive added a comment section after my post...but if you want to comment in the box on the right its all good too either way we connected...one luv...goodnight....soulSAG

Nothing...

Ive been mad bizzy with my internship and working my regular job...sorry i havent posted in a couple of days....sue me...lol not literally though...umm right now im at work (internship)...wasting time away until my next assignment...im feeling quite good right now (in life)...therefore meaning i dont have shit to talk about...well signing off...soulSaG...

Wishing & Waiting...

its very evident that you are heaven sent/ its very evident/ ahhhh ahhhhh/ its very evident that you are heaven sent/ its very evident/ ahhhh ahhhhh---Heaven Sent "Radio Version" by Donnie

you ever had those days where you woke up.... and wished you had somebody laying next to...or even someone by your side to experience the day with...now im not desperate....but sometimes i wish i had someone significant in my life...im not going to lie or paint a picture that i dont get lonely...cause i damn sure do, please believe it...and its damn sure is a thick line from settling with any joe blow...sometimes i get the thinking and wish the man above will send me something for my patience (secretely wishing he would put an "X" on my mans head and say "Ty this one is yours")...i get tired of having to sort threw a pile of shit heads to get to some real glittering gold...yall know i hate cycles...

but damn its do or die in this dating world...if you dont date then you become lonely...and eventually venture to a "old maid"...i aint trying to have that...then if i do date...then i run throw a bunch of assholes...im not perfect and i will admitt that i have problems...for instance with trust...i dont know why but i cant trust a nigga as far as i can throw em (not literally)...no matter how much of a good guy they are...i still look for the eventual fuck up...so therefore in the back of my mind, im peppin myself wit "this shit is too good to be true whats wrong wit this dude"...or "damn why the fuck he so nice"...or "dont fall for this dude he is going to eventually disappoint you"...then i have a problem with given 100% of myself to a guy...dont get it twisted im a one man woman...so im not talking about cheating cause i dont cheat (not built for all that)...my problem lies in the vacinity of not trying to reveal too much of myself too fast...due to my previous issue wit trust...i constantly prepare myself for disappointment...its natural i dont want a broken heart (avoiding that shit wit a passion)...i dont want to be wit someone and feel like i wasted my time...im not built for that either...when i fall i know i will fall hard...i know right now thats going to be hard for me...But the sad thing is i want to be in love...I never felt i experience it...in fact i feel cheated from love, because its in my heart...I want it bad...but i cant bring my heart to calloborate with my mind (or enpower it)....i need to change and im trying to gradually...well now yall know ive got issues...(so stop looking at me like that)...adios from a psychiatrist chair lmao (not really)...one luv soulSag

Live from Memphis....

damn i luv me some Jay-z...the concert was good...but i be damn...i never in my dreams would think that memphis folk cant get hyped for Jigga...WTF?...Now if J came here to D-ware or Philly...we would be wildn out...but they just chillen looking at him...just my thoughts on the whole concert...had to hit yall wit a double post...one luv soul sag...and ps..check the new setup...nice...can you hear me now goooooooddd....one luv...

Now after the Party its suppose to be the Hotel Lobby...

but hold up...what happened...last night was so drastic...here i am ready to shake my ass...and that shit didnt even popp off...talk about wasted energy...i would have been better off just watching a sixers game...in a pair of timbs and a white T....keeping it gully...but nah my best friend called and wanted to go out...so i decided to go out drag my other friend along... my BF wanted to see about this new club that opened in Smyrna(sp)...aka Slower Delaware...or west bumblefuck...so my best friend heard it was live from her boy at work...so we game...we meet up wit him cause he suppose to show us where it's at ...i-ight so we finally get to the joint around 11:15...now this shit cost $5.00 and im ready to get about $50.00 worth of party into 5 ones...but i be damn when we went into the place...E-M-P-T-Y...nothing but empty space...so we chilled for a min to see if the live crowd would come in...after about 40 mins we like hell nah "i cant take this shit no more" ...so we all left and headed back to my sisters (bestfriend's) crib...so we all chillen looking at each other like what now...long story short we ended up watching Martin's "You So Crazy"....clowned around....pitch in and made a family-size breakfast (pancakes, bacon, sauage, cheese eggs and all that good stuff)...all in all

Club Experience: 5 dollars
Wasted Gas: 6 dollars
Making grub, having a snowball fight, and doing the "running man" in the middle of the street: Priceless

So despite bad experiences....just wild out and have some fun...One luv soulSag...

Untitled....

Damn i been waiting for this dudes album to drop for a min...finally....this shit is going down..."PHILADELPHIA FREEWAY" in stores tuesday....holla ya boy (as free would say)...im feeling his album...i think its living up to what people have been expecting...umm now to my day...basically its been cool...im chillen right now watching Jay-z "Driven" on VH1...good shit...i luv this show...so far i have watched LiL Kim's and J's...i want to see Christina's and Pink's (holding it down for PA, hey cant forget my roots)...but anyway watching how people came up in the game is nice to see...i was watching kim's and she went through some shit...i think everybody has fucking problems...which goes to show you...these same peeps we seeing on tv flossing and shit...HAVE ISSUES...just watching this show made me think about my life...my shit wasn'y nice either...but i can say that despite living in the hood and knowing too fucking much too soon has made me to who i am and i wouldnt change that shit EVER...no matter how much dough you making now...or what damn degree you have...we all have went thru some shit thats tucked away in our closet....so therefor dont front... how can you be better than me or me better than you...maybe one day i'll give yall a snipet of my lifetime (Jay-z style vol one...but we'll see)...one luv soulsag



had to leave yall wit some young jay lol...now thats classic

Cabin Fever in my Wonderful Winter Land....

its seems the world has stop this week...here in the northeast shit has been shut down since friday...i never in my life had a whole week off because of snow...my area (Delaware) was hit hard...i mean like 24+ inches of snow hit us saturday, sunday, and monday...school has been canceled so therefor i cant do my internship (in a public school)...i went to work today...seen my lil midgets (5 year olds)...since i now only work every other day...i havent seen some of them for about a week...i missed them...well cabin fever is a bitch...but at least my boy Big C...made me a dope cd featuring all my favorites old school singers...Anita Baker, Denise Williams, and Lufa (luther) Vandross...im trying to turn him out...oops i mean on to a blogger but he bullshiting *eye wink cause i know you reading this...but yeah tonight i will be listening to my dope (yes i said dope back to '89) ass cd...probably talking on the phone...watching tv (to see this weeks american idol winners)...but most importantly im suppose to be working on my grad school app...but i dont feel like may put it off till tomorrow...since i will again be snowed in...one luv SoulSag